What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?

Joel 3

[3] And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of Heaven, and the God of the Earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

[1] O that thou wert as my brother, that SUCKED the breasts of my mother: when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised.

What are some funny and smart quotes?

[13] Therefore I will shake the Heavens, and the Earth shall remove out of her place, in the wrath of the LORD of hosts, and in the day of his fierce anger.

[16] Their children also shall be DASHED to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their WIVES ravished.

Hos 4

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

Nah 3

[45] Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to KISS my FEET.

[10] Therefore will I GIVE their WIVES unto others, and their fields to them that shall inherit them: for every one from the least even unto the greatest is given to covetousness, from the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely.

Why did my ex move on so quickly?

[44] And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.

Isa 13

Jesus’ Feet Smooching in Lk 7:44.

Has your mother ever walked in on you at an inappropriate time?

Lk 7

Apart from parable (Song 8:1, Nah 3:5, etc), in reality:

[2] And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my THIGH:

Is 1500 calories enough for a 5’3 15-year-old who is non-active?

Jer 8

[14] I will NOT punish your DAUGHTERS when they commit whoredom, nor your SPOUSES when they commit adultery: for themselves are separated with whores, and they sacrifice with harlots: therefore the people that doth not understand shall fall.

[14] And it shall be as the chased roe, and as a sheep that no man taketh up: they shall every man turn to his own people, and flee every one into his own land.

Why do so many men on the internet try to compete with women, or try to "humble" and bash them? There's so many videos across my tiktok and YouTube of men claiming how they're wanting to get back at women and put them in thier place.

Gen 24:2–3 on “primitive” gesture of touching a loin (under a thigh) for a vow.

[15] Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword.

[5] Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts; and I will DISCOVER thy SKIRTS upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame.

If you were president, how would you make America "great again?"

Song 8

Gen 24

[8] And I will SELL your sons and your DAUGHTERS into the hand of the children of Judah, and they shall SELL them to the Sabeans, to a people far off: for the LORD hath spoken it.

The International Boxing Association said that Khelif and Lin competing in Paris Olympics were disqualified from the tournament for testing positive for XY chromosomes which give an unfair advantage in the women’s division. What do you think?